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at what age is it appropriate to discipline a child

Family Life

What's the Best Fashion to Discipline My Kid?

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Every bit a parent, one of your jobs to teach your child to behave. Information technology's a job that takes time and patience. But, it helps to larn the effective and good for you field of study strategies.

Here are some tips from the American University of Pediatrics (AAP) on the best ways to help your child learn acceptable behavior as they abound.

ten Good for you Bailiwick Strategies That Work

The AAP recommends positive discipline strategies that effectively teach children to manage their behavior and keep them from damage while promoting salubrious development. These include:

  1. Show and tell. Teach children right from wrong with calm words and actions. Model behaviors you would like to run across in your children.

  2. Ready limits. Accept clear and consistent rules your children can follow. Be sure to explain these rules in age-advisable terms they can sympathize.

  3. Give consequences. Calmly and firmly explicate the consequences if they don't behave. For example, tell her that if she does non choice up her toys, yous will put them away for the rest of the day. Be prepared to follow through correct away. Don't give in by giving them back after a few minutes. But remember, never take away something your child truly needs, such as a meal.

  4. Hear them out. Listening is of import. Let your child finish the story before helping solve the problem. Watch for times when misbehavior has a pattern, like if your child is feeling jealous. Talk with your child about this rather than just giving consequences.

  5. Requite them your attention. The near powerful tool for effective discipline is attention—to reinforce skillful behaviors and discourage others. Remember, all children desire their parent'due south attending.

  6. Catch them being expert. Children need to know when they do something bad--and when they exercise something practiced. Notice good beliefs and indicate it out, praising success and expert tries. Be specific (for example, "Wow, you did a adept task putting that toy away!").

  7. Know when not to respond. As long as your child isn't doing something unsafe and gets plenty of attention for proficient behavior, ignoring bad beliefs can be an effective fashion of stopping it. Ignoring bad behavior tin also teach children natural consequences of their deportment. For instance, if your child keeps dropping her cookies on purpose, she will soon have no more cookies left to eat. If she throws and breaks her toy, she volition not exist able to play with it. It volition not exist long before she learns not to drop her cookies and to play carefully with her toys.

  8. Be prepared for trouble. Plan ahead for situations when your child might have trouble behaving. Fix them for upcoming activities and how you lot want them to behave.

  9. Redirect bad behavior. Sometimes children misbehave because they are bored or don't know whatever ameliorate. Notice something else for your child to do.

  10. Telephone call a time-out. A time-out can be especially useful when a specific rule is broken. This discipline tool works best past warning children they will get a fourth dimension out if they don't stop, reminding them what they did wrong in equally few words―and with as piddling emotion―as possible, and removing them from the situation for a pre-prepare length of fourth dimension (1 minute per year of age is a good dominion of thumb). With children who are at least three years old, you lot can endeavor letting their children atomic number 82 their own time-out instead of setting a timer. You can just say, "Go to time out and come back when you feel ready and in control." This strategy, which tin help the child learn and do self-management skills, likewise works well for older children and teens.

​Spanking and Harsh Words are Harmful and Don't Work. Here's Why:

The AAP policy argument, "Constructive Bailiwick to Heighten Healthy Children," highlights why it's of import to focus on pedagogy good behavior rather than punishing bad beliefs.  Inquiry shows that spanking, slapping and other forms of concrete penalisation don't work well to correct a child'south beliefs. The aforementioned holds true for yelling at or shaming a child. Beyond existence ineffective, harsh physical and verbal punishments can also damage a child's long-term physical and mental wellness.

  • Spanking'south unhealthy cycle. The AAP advises that parents and caregivers should not spank or hit children. Instead of educational activity responsibility and self-control, spanking oft increases aggression and anger in children. A study of children born in twenty big U.Southward. cities establish that families who used physical penalty got caught in a negative bike: the more children were spanked, the more they afterward misbehaved, which prompted more than spankings in response. Spanking's furnishings may also be felt beyond the parent-child relationship. Because it teaches that causing someone pain is OK if you're frustrated—even with those you lot dear. Children who are spanked may exist more likely to hit others when they don't get what they desire.

  • Lasting marks. Physical punishment increases the take a chance of injury, peculiarly in children nether xviii months of age, and may exit other measurable marks on the encephalon and torso. Children who are spanked show higher levels of hormones tied to toxic stress. Physical punishment may as well affect brain development. One study found that young adults who were spanked repeatedly had less gray matter, the part of the brain involved with self-control, and performed lower on IQ tests equally young adults than the control group.

  • Exact corruption: How words hurt. Yelling at children and using words to crusade emotional pain or shame also has been found to exist ineffective and harmful. Harsh verbal discipline, even past parents who are otherwise warm and loving, tin lead to more than misbehavior and mental health problems in children. Enquiry shows that harsh verbal discipline, which becomes more common equally children get older, may pb to more behavior problems and symptoms of depression in teens.

Learn from Mistakes—Including Your Ain

Think that, every bit a parent, y'all tin can give yourself a time out if you feel out of control. Just make certain your child is in a safe identify, and then give yourself a few minutes to take a few deep breaths, relax or call a friend. When you lot are feeling better, get back to your child, hug each other, and outset over.

If you do not handle a situation well the first time, try non to worry about it. Think about what y'all could take done differently and try to practice information technology the next time. If you experience yous accept made a real mistake in the estrus of the moment, wait to cool down, repent to your child, and explain how you lot will handle the situation in the time to come. Be certain to keep your promise. This gives your child a good model of how to recover from mistakes.

Healthy & Effective Discipline Tips by Age/Stage

​Infants

  • ​Babies acquire by watching what you do, so set examples of behavior you expect.

  • Use positive linguistic communication to guide your infant. For instance, say, "Time to sit," rather than, "Don't stand."

  • Salvage the word, "no," for the near important issues, similar prophylactic. Limit the need to say "no" by putting dangerous or tempting objects out of reach.

  • Distracting and replacing a unsafe or forbidden object with 1 that is okay to play with is a good strategy at this age.

  • All children, including babies, need consequent subject field, so talk with your partner, family members, and kid care provider to set basic rules anybody follows.

​Toddlers

  • ​Your child is starting to recognize what'southward allowed and what isn't merely may test some rules to see how yous react. Pay attention to and praise behaviors you like and ignore those you desire to discourage. Redirect to a different activity when needed.

  • Tantrums tin can become more common every bit your child struggles to primary new skills and situations. Anticipate tantrum triggers, like beingness tired or hungry, and help head them off with well-timed naps and meals.

  • Teach your toddler non to striking, seize with teeth, or use other ambitious behaviors. Model nonviolent beliefs by not spanking your toddler and by handling disharmonize with your partner in a constructive way.

  • Stay consistent in enforcing limits. Try short time-outs if needed.

  • Acknowledge conflicts between siblings merely avoid taking sides. For example, if an argument arises near a toy, the toy tin be put away.

​Preschool Age

  • ​Preschool-historic period children are still trying to understand how and why things work and what event their actions accept. As they learn appropriate beliefs, expect them to continue testing the limits of parents and siblings.

  • Begin assigning age-appropriate chores, like putting their toys away. Give uncomplicated, step-by-step directions. Reward them with praise.

  • Allow your child to brand choices amongst acceptable alternatives, redirecting and setting sensible limits.

  • Teach your kid to treat others as she wants to be treated.

  • Explicate that it's OK to feel mad sometimes, only not to hurt someone or break things. Teach them how to deal with angry feelings in positive ways, like talking about it.

  • To resolve conflicts, use fourth dimension-outs or remove the source of conflict.

​Gradeschool-Age Children

  • ​Your child is beginning to go a sense of right and incorrect. Talk about the choices they have in hard situations, what are the skilful and bad options, and what might come next depending on how they make up one's mind to human action.

  • Talk almost family expectations and reasonable consequences for not following family rules.

  • Provide a balance of privileges and responsibility, giving children more than privileges when they follow rules of skilful behavior.

  • Continue to teach and model patience, business and respect for others.

  • Don't permit yourself or others use physical penalty. If yous live in an expanse where corporal punishment is allowed in schools, y'all have the right to say that your child may not be spanked.

​Adolescents & Teens

  • ​As your teen develops more than independent determination-making skills, you'll demand to remainder your unconditional love and support with clear expectations, rules, and boundaries.

  • Keep to bear witness enough of affection and attention. Brand time every solar day to talk. Young people are more probable to make healthy choices if they stay continued with family members.

  • Go to know your teen's friends and talk nigh responsible and respectful relationships.

  • Acknowledge your teen's efforts, achievements, and success in what they practise―and don't do. Praise the choice to avoid using tobacco, east-cigarettes, alcohol, or other drugs. Set a adept example through your own responsible use of alcohol and other substances.

Additional Data:

  • 15 Tips to Survive the Terrible 3's
  • How to Shape and Manage Your Young Child's Behavior

  • Disciplining Older Children

  • How to Give a Time-Out

  • Effective Subject to Raise Healthy Children (AAP Policy Statement)

Article Body

Last Updated
11/v/2018
Source
American Academy of Pediatrics (Copyright © 2018)

The information independent on this Spider web site should not exist used as a substitute for the medical intendance and advice of your pediatrician. In that location may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on private facts and circumstances.

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Source: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/Disciplining-Your-Child.aspx